The tears - in quiet hours they come - when day is far behind me.
Uncanny, how they always seem relentlessly to find me.
They cause my weary heart to gasp; once more my eyelids swell.
Then there's the aching in my bones; the pain I know too well.

With these tears of longing I recall our days of happiness.
My babies underneath my wings; to cuddle and caress.
We danced and sang and carried on with not the slightest care.
The world was somehow not so bleak as long as they were there.

I taught them everything I knew to make them wise and strong.
But still somehow along the way it went so very wrong.
A separation, then divorce turned us inside out.
"Oh where, Dear God, to go from here? Let's figure this thing out."

I kept my babies close to me and hoped it would be good.
I nurtured them with all my heart; I tried as best I could.
But job and money both ran out, a cloud of doom set in.
Life set me up to play a game impossible to win.

So many of my childhood days spent hiding in my room;
too many kids, parental fits, bad history, I presume.
Shall I allow my own life wounds, the sorrow and the strife
to swallow up my precious babes and take joy from their life?

With grave intrepidation, I just had to let them go.
I let the father care for them so they could thrive and grow.
I strove to keep our love bond tight, to keep me in their heart.
But religious zealots soon prevailed and kept us far apart.

With gifts and calls, I kept in touch so they would always know
in spite of what the "elders" say, mother won't let go.
The sacrifices that I had to make to give them a good life
were turned against me don't ya know - cuts deeper than a knife.

The poison of these "holy" men destroyed all that I built.
The kids think I abandoned them, now all they see is guilt.
Their trust was shaken to the ground, They cannot understand.
Their lives are shaped and twisted by all that the "church" demands.

The years have dragged on drearily embedding all those lies.
Where's the mother-child look of love in my dear children's eyes?
They have it all - materially. They learned church lessons well.
But God, how is it they reject their mother's love, pray tell?

Now having children of their own, they broke religion's chain.
But old confusion and contempt - the hurtful lies remain.
We have a challenge before us now to sort out what is true.
To step by step reclaim the love that's so long overdue.

A fear of closeness, afraid to trust, Lord, how do we begin
to undo the tangled web that left such emptiness within?
The broken dreams of yesterday can never be repaired.
No use in trying now to find those happy days we shared.

My trust is only knowing that our Father has a plan.
We take the lessons one by one and do the best we can.
Although I humbly now accept and try to do my part,
the pain is ever present in my mind and in my heart.

Oh, where have all my children gone? They are so far away.
The cruel distance between us now hurts more than I can say.
For what is love if not expressed? How can it become real?
Can thoughts and words be adequate to portray how we feel?

Occasionally we speak by phone - so great to hear their voice!
But independently they live; it seems to be their choice.
So now I watch them growing still, as each sad day goes by.
And in the wind, the earth can hear a lonely mother's cry.