The tears - in quiet hours they come - when day is far behind me.
Uncanny,
how
they
always
seem
relentlessly
to
find
me.
They
cause
my
weary heart
to
gasp;
once
more
my
eyelids
swell.
Then there's the
aching
in
my
bones;
the
pain
I
know
too
well.
With
these
tears
of
longing
I
recall
our
days
of
happiness.
My
babies
underneath
my
wings;
to
cuddle
and
caress.
We
danced
and
sang
and
carried
on
with
not
the
slightest
care.
The
world
was
somehow
not
so
bleak
as
long
as
they
were
there.
I
taught
them
everything
I
knew
to
make
them
wise
and
strong.
But
still
somehow
along
the
way
it
went
so
very
wrong.
A
separation,
then
divorce
turned
us
inside
out.
"Oh
where,
Dear
God,
to
go
from
here?
Let's figure
this
thing
out."
I
kept
my
babies
close
to
me and
hoped
it
would
be
good.
I
nurtured
them
with
all
my
heart;
I
tried
as
best
I
could.
But
job
and
money
both
ran
out,
a
cloud
of
doom
set
in.
Life set me up to play a
game impossible to
win.
So many
of
my
childhood
days
spent hiding in my room;
too
many
kids,
parental fits, bad history, I presume.
Shall
I
allow
my own life wounds, the sorrow
and the
strife
to
swallow
up
my
precious
babes
and
take
joy
from
their
life?
With
grave
intrepidation,
I just
had
to
let
them
go.
I let the father
care for them so they could
thrive and
grow.
I
strove to keep our love bond
tight, to keep
me
in
their
heart.
But
religious
zealots
soon
prevailed
and
kept
us
far
apart.
With
gifts and calls,
I
kept
in
touch
so
they
would
always
know
in
spite
of
what
the
"elders"
say,
mother
won't
let
go.
The
sacrifices
that
I
had to make
to
give
them
a
good
life
were
turned
against
me
don't ya know -
cuts
deeper
than
a
knife.
The
poison
of
these
"holy"
men
destroyed
all
that
I
built.
The
kids
think
I
abandoned
them,
now
all
they
see
is
guilt.
Their
trust
was
shaken
to
the
ground,
They
cannot
understand.
Their
lives
are
shaped
and
twisted
by
all
that
the
"church"
demands.
The
years
have
dragged
on
drearily
embedding
all
those
lies.
Where's
the
mother-child look of love
in
my
dear
children's
eyes?
They
have
it
all
-
materially.
They
learned
church
lessons
well.
But
God, how is it they
reject
their
mother's
love,
pray
tell?
Now
having children of their own,
they
broke
religion's
chain.
But
old
confusion
and
contempt
-
the
hurtful
lies
remain.
We
have
a
challenge
before
us
now
to
sort
out
what
is
true.
To
step
by
step
reclaim
the
love
that's so long
overdue.
A
fear
of
closeness,
afraid
to
trust,
Lord,
how
do
we
begin
to
undo
the
tangled
web
that
left
such
emptiness
within?
The
broken
dreams
of
yesterday
can
never
be
repaired.
No
use
in
trying
now
to
find
those
happy
days
we
shared.
My
trust
is
only
knowing
that
our
Father
has
a
plan.
We
take
the
lessons
one
by
one
and
do
the
best
we
can.
Although
I
humbly
now
accept
and
try
to
do
my
part,
the
pain
is
ever
present
in
my
mind
and
in
my
heart.
Oh,
where
have
all
my
children
gone?
They
are
so
far
away.
The
cruel distance
between
us now hurts
more
than
I
can
say.
For
what
is
love
if
not
expressed?
How
can
it
become
real?
Can
thoughts
and
words
be
adequate
to
portray
how
we
feel?
Occasionally
we
speak
by
phone
-
so
great
to
hear
their
voice!
But
independently
they
live;
it
seems
to
be
their
choice.
So
now
I
watch
them
growing
still,
as
each
sad
day
goes
by.
And
in
the
wind,
the
earth
can
hear
a
lonely
mother's
cry.
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