It's a known fact that emotional and physical abuse is learned behavior.  It came from somewhere. Maybe it didn't come from the immediate parents, but it did come from the bloodline. If you look back into the genealogy, you will find the source of the brutality - you will find where the monster was formed. There is an energy created from love and from cruelty and from all stops in between. It is passed down through the ages. The child perceives the parent's attitudes toward it even at the time of its conception, and this will affect its development. What huge responsibility we bear when we create a human being! There are not only potential genetic physiologically perpetuated anomalies, but spiritual & karmic issues are also passed from family to family, and from generation to generation.

We hear stories about a certain person in our life who feels so familiar - a friend who feels like a brother or sister, a husband that feels like you've known him forever, or a mother who feels like she is forcing you to be HER mother. This is no accident - if you research stories of reincarnation and papers from the JSE, Journal of Scientific Exploration, you will see thousands of instances where we rejoin a certain circle of people in subsequent life incarnations in order to further our life lessons, to complete past karmic issues, and to explore or expand our growth in certain areas. Two of my own children have been with me in several past lifetimes - even though that does not necessarily mean that we were particularly close or happy in our relationships. It just means that we agreed to be related and facilitate our life lessons.

Having said that, why is abuse repeated from father/mother to child?  Why does an adult inflict cruelty and/or harm to a defenseless child that is entrusted to his/her care? Why do people bear children and then fail in their responsibility to care for their offspring? Who will hold them accountable? Who will rescue the children? Who will punish the cruel monsters? Who will right the wrongs? Profound questions that have been a part of our world since the planet Earth was born, and the species of Homo Sapiens was seeded. The answers? Simply ... People are cruel because they are un evolved.  That means they are concerned with their own needs and not the needs of others, surely not the needs of their children. They are SELF-ish. To the other questions, the answer is simply:
It is human nature in its un-evolved, un-enlightened condition.

If a person is under developed, you cannot hope for them to behave in a mature way. It would be like asking a person to write you a check for $100 when they only have $10 in the bank. It would be like asking a baby to recite the Declaration of Independence to you. It is not a reasonable expectation. And yet we want a parent to behave like a parent because they are in that position. It does not seem fair that we are subject to a person who cannot provide proper care and nurturing to a helpless baby or child. It is our natural RIGHT and it is the law of the universe to deposit us into a family that will protect and provide for us. We deserve a loving family, a safe home, and an environment where we can thrive, grow, love and be loved. So what happened?

I was so confused! I went through many sacred and sincere rituals, prayers, and ceremonies over the years in order to cleanse my spirit from negativity, to forgive my enemies, to release any impurities in my heart.  But still my body reacts and I struggle with severe depression, aches and pains that will not go away no matter how much therapy or medication I endure.  I knew I was not a hypochondriac, and I was not dreaming up reasons to go to the doctor for nurturing purposes, to be pampered, or for attention.  It was none of those things.  But there are so many things wrong with my body, and so very much pain.  After many years of asking questions, relentless searching out answers, I finally understand a little of what is going on. It is because there is so much anger inside that was never expressed.  For reasons which I will try to explain below, this powerful emotion was never allowed to come out.  And that is where the problem is - believe me, over fifty years of pain and suffering because of this one issue.

Strange, I think I've put the cart before the horse, so to speak. I have forgiven, I have loved, I have blessed those who have offended me. But my body is imploding! I applied the ointment to the wound and put a nice bandage on it & sealed it up for many years ... before expressing all the puss from it. First you must squeeze out all the poison, then purify it, and then apply the healing salve -- or it will fester and you will have a lifetime of wondering why you are so ill.

All these years I've been afraid of anger. I've seen the terrible damage it does to the human spirit, and how it cripples your walk through life for years to come. Recovery from emotional devastation is a long, brutal tunnel that I and others have crawled out of on our hands and knees, some of us for many years, looking for goodness and kindness and love, if such a thing does exist in this life. We're not too sure.

People can go two ways.

My brother became an abuser. That is one result. He turned his pain outward -- it is classic. The cycle repeats itself - it is obvious. You want others to feel and know your pain. You can't help it. You are selfish and irrational. You kick dogs, you hurt animals, you scare people. You are a bully. You might be very charming at times, but drink a little alcohol and the fuse is lit - damage ensues. You will not be satisfied until you have hurt someone. We've seen it and heard it a thousand times.

I became a victim - the one who turned the abuse on myself. This is a little more subtle. Victims turn their pain inward.  Some mutilate themselves in a cry for help, either by means of eating disorders, or outright slashing and even suicide attempts.  The stronger ones may often want to correct the problem of cruelty in the world and rescue other victims, so they set about to put gentleness in the world - they try to balance the hate by becoming peace makers and empaths - taking on other people's pain. I became quite expert at that. No wonder my body is full of pain! But the problem is that they absorb the hate and it has to go somewhere, so it goes inside them. They have ulcers, gastric problems, colon, digestive trouble, depression, obesity, eating disorders, body pain ... suicide, self hatred. I had a 25 millimeter duodenal ulcer by age 25. That's like a cigarette burn in your stomach the size of a quarter. And I had all the problems mentioned above.

So now it makes sense that a person who has been ravaged by anger and hate would be very reluctant to express any remnant of that frightening emotion. But the human condition, and life itself evokes negative emotion in our daily life. What are we do to with it?

We have to find a way to let get it OUT.

............ to be continued

coming..........



[ top ]